Here We Go Again?!

Do you find yourself being in an excited mood and in excellent holiday spirit but then the closer it gets to Christmas that feeling sours?  Well you are not alone.  The initial excitement and fun of decorating and making crafts and looking at the lights can be exciting and fulfilling.  Most people do this with close family and close friends.  It seems that the issue of decreased excitement and even increased dread the closer it gets to Christmas may actually be about the thought of spending time with those family members you do not feel close or connected to.  To make it worse, for some reason (I have my theories) we are optimistic each year that things will be different when we know that nothing has changed.  Soooo we set ourselves up for another disappointment. 

What to do so we don't become a big Ba Humbug?:

be realistic and acknowledge that some family members are difficult to tolerate (most people do not magically change and some sadly do not change even if they are told they are hurting you).  Hoping they have changed is a big set up.

challenge yourself to stop focusing on the stuff about others that drives you crazy (easier said than done)

focus on the family members that amuse you, support you or make you happy.  Even if this person is not your favorite they are bound to have some qualities that you can appreciate.

limit your time with family.  Don't linger any longer than is necessary.  Go outside for air and reset when it starts feeling too toxic.

find the humor in it.  If you can't find the humor in the moment call a friend later to share your "horror" and have a laugh.

Have your "go to" support system ready but be careful that your venting doesn't become excessive complaining.  Get it off your chest and move on with the positive.

plan things that make you happy.  Planning activities with people who nurture your sole not only breaks up the tension but also gives you something special to look forward to.  A mini Christmas with your favorite people at a restaurant goes a long way.  Plan more than one.

when the holidays are over (give it until at least mid-January) consider talking with the family member that is upsetting  you.  Maybe you can at least establish some boundaries.  Be realistic.  It will likely take more than one conversation. It is also important to consider if talking to this person will likely bring about any change or are you beating your head against the wall again.  If you are beating your head against the wall, please stop.

Remember you are not alone in experiencing frustrations with family.  Give yourself the power to not let the nonsense get to you and turn yourself into a big Bah Humbug.

MERRY CHRISTMAS